The Yob

1988

The Comic Strip for Channel 4, produced by Chris Brown. Starring Kieth Allen, Gary Olsen and Lia Williams. A send up of The Fly, this film has cameos from UB40, toddler Lily Allen, Derek Jarman and vintage action man, Peter Wyngarde. Considered to be the most cinematic of the Comic Strip series, it’s a staple on tour buses, thanks to its mockery of the music video business. The film also became a hit with British football fans, if that is anything to be proud of.

Synopsis: Kieth Allen stars as pretentious music video director Patrick Church, who while visiting UB40 at a college gig, steps into what he thinks is a portable toilet for a line of coke, but is in fact inside a matter-transportation pod. His brain patterns are swapped with those of a football hooligan and mayhem ensues as he gradually mutates into an ape-like Arsenal supporter. His posh fashion victim girlfriend Juicy Lucy, played by the talented Lia Williams, both loathes and laps up Patrick’s increasingly oafish behavior. Needless to say the mutation gets out of hand, Patrick’s head turns into something that looks like a butt, and Lucy searches for a way to reverse the transformation, with disastrous consequences. 

It’s said that The Yob captured the zeitgeist of the 80's, spawning catch phrases that can be heard to this day on the streets of Soho. Here are some of Patrick’s lines:
(To a guest at a dinner party) Get her moist do you?
(To Lucy, after sex) You love it, don’t you, you dirty slag?
(As he mutates into the Yob) You What! You What! You What!
(To Lucy, after sex with the cleaner) Here, Luce. Fancy a bit? (pats the bed) You’re upset aren’t ya? Here, how about, you an’ me, none of the boys nothin’ like that, nip out an’ ‘ave a nice tandori?